This one is more for Lanthie than myself, but I am going to chime in anyway. I know we talked about Penis Size once in our Cherries and Bananas series, but this is looking at it from another angle. Here is how this post developed:
I was with a couple of my dude friends the other night and one of them told me that his sister was breaking up with her boyfriend because his Penis was just way too small. (He wouldn’t say how his sister told him this, which is kind of weird. I mean how many sisters go around talking about their sex life to their brothers?) They had been dating about 5 months and she really likes him. He has a good job, he’s good looking, nice personality, etc. The one problem is that his dick is about 2 inches long when aroused (I swear, his sister told him this!) She finally slept with him and it was horrible.
My buddy thought it was wrong of her to dump him just because he has a small weiner (Insert Anthony Weiner Jokes Here). She wasn’t having none of it. She even told him that “I Love Sex and it is just too important for me.” WOW! I think he found out a lot more about his sister than he wanted to know!
He asked us what I thought. First off, if I were a guy with a small Penis (I am pretty normal sized, not too big and definitely not “Tiny”) I would spend endless hours honing my cunnilingus skills so that I might be able to dazzle women with my tongue to the point that they almost forget that we were supposed to start having normal sex. So I question why this guy hasn’t done that.
As for breaking up with him because the sex is bad, all I could say was that his sister should give it a few more tries. One time isn’t enough to judge how good the sex is. Maybe he had performance anxiety and couldn’t get fully hard, or they had been drinking, or she is the one who is a little too loose and now a normal sized penis disappears inside of her (Remember, she told her brother she LOVES sex, so this could be a possibility.)
After a few more tries, if the sex is still bad, then I guess she should move on. If she is going to base her relationships on sex, then she is going to end up with a pretty shallow and meaningless relationship. I strongly urge her not to tell the guy why she is breaking up with him. That is the last thing any guy wants to hear. That could do some irreversible psychological damage to him. He might end up in a monastery.
I hope to God that there are not a lot of women out there that put sex as the most important thing in a relationship. This guy had it all, money, looks, a good career and she is throwing it away because the sex isn’t that good? Lanthie, please tell me that this woman is an exception to the rule, some kind of lady nympho who has some weird and twisted views on relationships!
Hi Matt – yes this one is indeed something for me to reply to.
I had to laugh about your comment about how many sisters talk about their sex life to their brothers – yeah it does sound a little creepy but I have to admit that my brother and I are very close and we often have conversations about our sex lives. He is the one person I can truly open up to without feeling judged, so when I need to have a heart to heart – he is it!
I know on the surface it does sound a bit shallow – after all relationships should go far deeper than penis size or even sex. But the reality is that sex forms a very important part of a relationship. And if you can’t satisfy each other in the bedroom department, well then you had best stick to a platonic relationship. I have seen lack of sex and libido break many marriages (and relationships) so it is a major part of a relationship.
I cringe every time I hear of a virgin getting married. Just imagine having to spend the rest of your life with each other and not ever being satisfied in bed. And I’m not just talking about a small penis – some men just generally suck in bed. And some women just really suck in bed. I read an article once about women who are referred to as Starfish – a term used to refer to women who are completely unenthusiastic during sex while passively allowing their partner to finish. You could also refer to it as pity sex. I just can’t see the point of this type of sex.
I have slept with guys who are just AMAZING in bed, but would make lousy life partners and I have slept with guys who are LOUSY in bed – and well, they didn’t get a second chance so would not be able to tell if they would have made great life partners. Sex is very important to me too. There is just something very off-putting about a guy who is lousy in bed. I have also slept with guys who are GREAT in bed and would make GREAT life partners – this is when you take your relationship to the next level in my book.
I would hate to condemn a man with a small penis to a life of lousy sex or even no sex at all, so yes – he should hone up on his cunnilingus skills. There are so many other ways to pleasure a woman in this day and age – you just have to look at what toys are out there. In fact I would encourage ALL men to skill up in this department – regardless of penis size or skills. You can have so much fun just playing. The orgasm is just the “cream on top” (excuse the pun), so to speak.
I have read articles and listened to various talk show hosts where they insist that size doesn’t matter – well I think it does to a certain extent. Generally most men are more than adequate and what they lack in size, they make up for in skill anyway.
Let’s just say, for argument sake, that this guy was having certain performance issues – he should have been able to identify this and should have been able to step in with his other skills. The fact that he didn’t call upon his box of tricks, probably means he doesn’t have any or he is not very sure of himself.
I am not sure what took them 5 months to actually sleep together either – perhaps he just did not have the courage in the first place. If sex is really important to her, I guess after 5 months she was really frustrated in the first place and there was a certain expectation that was building and unfortunately he didn’t deliver.
Perhaps you are right in saying they should give it at least one more go, but I think she would go into it with a negative experience and it would be very tough for him to recover from it all.
I’m afraid she would be considered shallow in my book if she went out with him because he had it all – money, looks, good career etc. These things change over the years and you cannot base a relationship on then.
So I don’t think she is the exception to the rule or that she is a nympho. She is just a woman who knows what she wants and I admire her for it.
Come on over to the dark side occasionally and read my blog at http://www.lifecherries.com