Friday, August 23, 2013

Free Advice Fridays - How to Drink in Class

    Drinking makes everything better. Sporting events, barbecues, holidays, and even school become a totally different animal once some happy juice is added to the mix. Today's edition of Free Advice Friday is going to focus on turning that boring college lecture class into something marvelous and exciting, all because of Booze! Sounds like fun, right?
    First off, this everything I am going to talk about will be a moot point if you have a professor that doesn't allow water bottle, gatorade, cokes, etc. in the classroom.  Luckily, the majority of college professors do allow students to take drinks into the class.  As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever had a college prof. deny a student his or her right to stay hydrated.  
    And of course, I am assuming that you all are of legal drinking age.  If you aren't disregard this (or, if you get caught and you are a minor, please don't tell the authorities you got the idea from this blog!)  
    OK,  Let's get this Free Advice Friday Going, Shall we?  Below are the rules that you should go by in order to have an enjoyable and happy drinking experience in class and avoid detection from professors and campus cops  
    • Drinking in class is best done in those large lecture halls/classroom.  The ones that look like an auditorium.  Drinking in small classrooms is much riskier as the smell of alcohol will be easier to detect and if you get inebriated, it is going to be much easier to notice you.  
    • Sit in the back of the room.This helps avoid detection and limits the number of people who might get a whiff of your alcohol infused breath.
    • Don't do anything that will draw attention to yourself.  Be inconspicuous. 
    • Relax!  You are not at a party.  You want to drink enough to get a buzz on and then carry it on after class, where the real drinking will begin.  
    • Early on in the class, do something to get the attention of the professor so he/she knows you are there and knows you are aware of what is going on in the class.  Raise your hand, ask a question or answer one.  Do it early before you get drunk.  You don't want to be called on and you make a fool of yourself stumbling your way through the answer. Once you have participated in class, the professor will probably leave you alone for the rest of the class.
    • Look normal.  Do your normal routine.  Put your books out and have your notebook open so it looks like you are paying attention. 
    • Don’t drink so much that you can’t act like a normal student.The point is to get a good buzz on, but not get drunk.  Don't go overboard.   
    • Try not to take multiple bathroom breaks.  Nothing screams of a Boozing Student as having to take 3 or 4 bathroom breaks during an hour and a half class.  
    Now how will you take your booze to the classroom without getting caught? The most obvious choice is pouring your whisky or rum into a a 20oz soft drink bottle.  Make sure the color matches if it is a clear bottle.  Whiskey or dark rum into Coke or Pepsi, vodka or gin into a 7-Up, Mountain Dew or Sprite.My favorite method was using one of those "Big Gulp" cups that you get from the 7-Eleven or other convenience stores.  Even better is using a can.  No one ever thinks that people mix alcohol with their drinks in a can. 

    Make sure you mix it.  Don't get crazy and try to pour straight liquor into your cup or bottle.  You are gonna get shitfaced and it is gonna be obvious that you are drinking.

    I know that there are some of you out there that don't drink the hard stuff (you are missing out!).  Never Fear, there are still ways to pull this off.  Grab an extra-large coffee cup from 7-Eleven or other convenience store.  These can hold a couple of beers.  You can even poor beer into a McDonald's cup if you have to.  

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